How many presents?

That was the title of the thread over at Sewing Mamas.

I've never really paid attention to the # of presents. Usually, I fill the stockings. The kids get gifts from each other. Dh may or may not have some black friday special gifts for them. Then we go to the family events and they get flooded with gifts from each family member. Even if there is only one gift from each that is 12 (and that doesn't include the spouses) It was always over wellming so keeping it light at our house was an easy decision.

The point of this meandering post is that a new to me way of gifting. Not the 3 presents because that is what Jesus was given, I was exposed to that idea a few years ago.

This one was posted by sewsewmama that a friend had told her.

Give them
Something they want
Something they need
Something handmade
Something to read

Stephanie noted she does something similar but slightly different.

Something I want
Something I need
Something to give
Something to read.

Either way it is a nice guideline for those who want to streamline the process.

Note: The something to give is from the school/church gift tree per Stephanie.

Surfwise

Another, I should arrange to watch this.

http://www.surfwisefilm.com/

The Ghost Mountain Experiment

While in Julian a week or so ago there was an ad. An ad for a movie. A movie Called The Ghost Mountain Experiment. A notation, "A film about the orginal hippi family."

www.ghostmountainmovie.com

I look forward to learning more about it.

I love it here!

From Maia's Reality

A couple of free hours and a quick drive south.
Sun.
Ocean.
A clear and beautiful day.
Thank you Jeff for the time off.

Sand Castles

Another exciting thing worth trying.

Thank you to Unplug Your Kids for posting this tutorial for Hard - Permanent Sand Castles.

Paper Flower Tutorial Link

Ok, ok but there are times when this is just the perfect accent to something.

And as uncrafty as I can be, I think I can handle this one.

Dozi's paper flower tutorial.

What to do with scratched CD's?

The Handmade Dress has a great tut on how to deal with scratched CD's. I haven't tried it yet but I'm putting it here so I can find it again.

I've got to make this!

A fabric basket. I am totally in love with the concept, shape and firm look.

Pink Penguin's Tutorial for a fabric basket.

Oh, they are only young once.

I wish I had a picture.

Both kids fell asleep in the car today on the way home. J (10.5) spent the night at a friend's house and was up until 4. He's my early to bed (10-11pm) kid. Jules (8.5) had an overnight here. Although, she went to bed at about her normal time (1am) she was awake before 7am.

I remember one of the last times I fell asleep in the car as a kid. I might have been 12 years old. My sisters and I were cuddled up in the back sleep... and we never cuddled. My mom was so inspired that she captured it on film prior to waking us up and making us walk in. I think I was holding out in hopes that someone would carry me into the house I was so tired. lol no such luck.

It is just not the same to fall asleep in the car as an adult.

It is friday. October 10, 2008

Friday Fill In

1. One of the best concerts/plays/movies I ever saw that I really didn't think I'd like was Charlotte's Web at South Coast Rep.
2. Mom's Farm Bread is a recipe I recently made (or meal I recently ordered) that was delicious!
3. It's time for(some song from Hair that I don't quite know the words of is playing in my head.) it must be time for bed.
4. Cool breezes on a hot October day is quite refreshing.
5. If I never hear the word bitch again, it'll be too soon.
6. To one side of the curving road was an ocean vista, and on the other was a bench
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to curling up with a good book, tomorrow my plans include cleaning the house and Sunday, I want to go to the beach and curl up with a good book!

Friday Five

1. What is the one most important thing by your side right now? My bee sting kit.
2. Why is it so important? Because I'm allergic to bee stings.
3. Can you live without it? So far I have, but I really don't want to risk it.
4. What is the one thing you can't live without? Joy.
5. Who is the one person you can't live without? Jeff.

Think: Page 16 Sand in My Bra

From The Aunties by Anne Lamott.

Ms. Lamott wrote

I was trying to spend less time thinking about what I see and more time
thinking about why I see it the way

I have not read any further. I had to stop and reflect on the above statement.

I was trying to spend

less time thinking about WHAT I SEE and

more time thinking about WHY I SEE it the way.

Definitely, something worthy of self exploration.

The book, "Sand in My Bra and other Misadventures" funny women write from the road. edited by Jennifer L. Leo.

So far, so entertaining. I am on page 16 after all so that is a good sign.

Just a little chewing of the cud.

Life Without School: Checklist for New Unschooler

We are not "new unschoolers" I don't like the term "unschool" but I can get behind the term "unschooly"

I thought I would take a little bit of time out of my evening to reflect on the checklist that Becky presented in the above link.

1. Remove the word "educational" from your vocabulary.

Ohh, that is a tough one. As much as we were unschooly while doing a public charter I am forever scarred on this point. I spent so much time fitting their activities into subjects that it is only now that I'm realizing that I need to deschool even it the kid don't. I find it interesting to note that fact after another parent just used the term about herself last Wednesday at Dragon Tree. We used a charter for ds for 4 years and for dd for 3 years. We started because we needed a way to keep mil appeased. She is a retired local K teacher and it was easier to find a middle ground that to potentially cause a major problem in the family. We stuck with it for as long as we did for dd's speech therapy. When there was a failure to provide those services the last year I had to realize that time, experience, and development were making a much larger difference that most of the therapist we were assigned. I had to accept that like so much of our lives I was ready to release and trust the process.

2. Slow down and relax.

True. True. True. That is something that many of us,
myself for sure, need to be reminded of on occasion. My kids have been
making that clear the last two weeks that they needed to slow down and
relax. Sometimes I'm slow to pick up on that need.

3. Make sure that cool stuff is within reach.

That is so much easier at 8 & 10 than it was 5 & 7. Much of it was out of sight, so out of mind in those earlier years.

4. Make time for the things you enjoy.

YES! This is true for parenting in general but especially when we are spending this much time with our children. Sometimes it can be easy to forget about making time for things I enjoy. I strive to do so and have throughout my parenting journey but it is still something to keep in mind.

5. Have fun.

:) YES! Find the Joy. Find the Fun. Concentrate on the positive.

6. Don't be afraid of being called a flake.

That is a trigger for me. Flake, applied to anything relating to parenting sets me on edge. I will say, that I am not "afraid" of being called a flake from someone uneducated (oh there is that word) about our path more so afraid of potential problems that could be caused by someone who takes it upon themselves to decide that they no what is best for my child and they deem that what we are doing is "flaky".

7. Allow yourself to be imperfect.

More great words of wisdom.

8. Remember that what other people think of you is none of your business.

Hum. My bolding. Wow. What other people think of me is none of my business. What other people think of me, is none of my business. Interesting. What other people think of ME is none of MY business. That one has some great potential and I'm definitely going to have to spend more time thinking about that.

9. Chose the relationship over your need to be right.

So true. This applies adult relationships as well as those with our children. Good point.

10. Trust your children.

LOL DS has been teaching me this from the get go. From his birth to learning to read and ride a bike. I'm sure DD has been doing the same but I'm less aware of major landmarks with her than I was with him.

It has been a long two weeks.

The ebb and flow of being homeschoolers and trying to meet everyone's needs.We are making great strides "academically" but behavior/follow through is in the pits. Sure, by this time I know that is the way it works but *gosh* it has been tough.The kids have been unwilling to get the basics done, eat/dress/teeth/pack lunch/water, in a timely manner so we can go on our outings. Jerick will only light a fire for volunteering at the Sr. Center. Jules for After School Club (aka Storytime) at the library. Of plethora of additional activities that we have available to us each week, those are the only two that they move for. They are so wrapped up in reading and creating that I can't really get mad, but I sure can get frustrated.In the end they did have to go to 2 park days in these last 2 week. The first at the beginning of this strange pattern. The second because I wanted to hear an Unschooling talk that was taking place that day. We've long tended to be Unschooly but I would not define what we do as Unschooling. For the same reason I stay out of conversations with people who are convicted that Unassisted Birthing or Attachment Parenting are the end all be all and that there is a checklist associated with each. I've seen to much, black and white, in definitions on unschooling that I've stayed away for the last few years.The funny part is that, of course, once I backed off, they started getting along better than they have in months. Down time, space, time to create and explore. Amazing how much listening to their needs and trying to meet them will give you peace. I've even found a way to balance my working out with the families needs. Crazy and wonderful. Transitions are never smooth. The most difficult part is that, just like when they were infants, once I get it down and under control, they change and I get spun until I get my expectations under control again.

Friday 10/3/08

No Friday Five today so will have to go with just the ...

Friday Fill In

1. October __is not summer______

2. _All horror movie stuff __ scare me!

3. Leaves are falling all around, it's _windy and they are not leaves they are palm fronds.__

4. My favorite horror movie is __nonexistent____ because __they do not exist in my special bubble.

5. _Sunny days, blue skies, with a light breeze___ = good memories.

6. It was a dark and stormy night _and I was cuddled in bed.___

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _going for a walk with dh , tomorrow my plans include _trying not to be disappointed at all they things I will not be able to fit in_ and Sunday, I want to _eat donuts, drink coffee, while I read the paper in a quite home.____!

Out of the Loop

Wow. I can't believe that my basic business skills have completely left me in the last 8 years. I never was all that stellar but I was competent and didn't embarrass myself or my employer at every turn. Today, I've managed to trip every time I turn around.

• An attempt to fax this am, failed.


• Only to find that I could have emailed it.


• Then I transcribed all the info and emailed the form noting that it may be a duplicate.


• Only, to do a triple check while printing it out for my own files and realize I lost a person in the transcription.

And of course when I talked to this person on the phone 3 weeks ago she was short and snippy with me so I can only imagine that she is totally annoyed at my ineptitude.

:sigh: is there a Administrative Assistant refresher course out there?

If I'm going to be taking a larger, volunteer, roll in our local community then I have to get these bugs out before I embarrass myself further.

Friday Fill-Ins

1. _Continuing Ed Class, Train Trip to SD, Getty Villa, Earth Science class, and hopefully a party at the cabin__ are some of the things I'm most looking forward to in October.

2. Sometimes I _am sure I am losing my mind_.

3. _I had children_ and that's why there is a saying, "never say never"!

4. When I'm down, I _eat_.

5. _With the kids_ is where you'll find me most often.

6. A rainy day is good for _a fire and a good book or watching others play in the rain_.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to _a PJ party in my bed with the kids_, tomorrow my plans include _making fire trucks with the kids__ and Sunday, I want to _dh to be home as early as possible__!

Friday FIve

1. Who is your favorite author?

All time favorite would be Orson Scott Card. I first read his work in the late 70's (thanks Dad!) and as recently as 4 days ago I was sharing some of my OSC collection with some dfs.

2. What is your favorite book/series?

OSC's 7th Son series.

3. Who is a book hero you most wish to be like?

I really like being myself so I couldn't choose one.

4. Who is a book character that you envy?

I try hard not to "envy" and when I do it sneaks up on me and I get rid of it asap.

5. Which book do you wished you lived in?

:) My autobiography. It is a great place to live.

Apologize

:sigh: as much as I work to never undermine someone publicly I did it again yesterday. Not with just anyone, but a kid, an older teen but still a kid. Not just the kid but in front of the parent and a group of adults that had known the kid for years!

Opened mouth, inserted foot.

I have apologized via email to the parent and asked that it be passed on to the child if appropriate.

But GOSH it bugs me that with a new to me group I could do something that thoughtless.

I should have been thinking KMS. Keep Mouth Shut.

It wasn't really *that* bad but since it is one of the things I strive to not do it was a step back for me.

9/19/08 Friday Five

That One Girls - Friday Five

1. What did you want to be when you were a kid? --- The first female vice president of the United States. That was short lived, by the time I was 12 I knew politics was not my thing. Then I wanted to be a professional volunteer. I was going to marry my knight in shinning armor (I did) and then be a volunteer for the rest of my life (hsing mom is pretty much that) and I was going to skip the Mommy thing and go straight to the Grandma thing (I messed that one up when my hormones got in the way)


2. What is your proudest accomplishment so far? --- It is not my best work but my proudest accomplishment. The Strength and Hugs quilt that I made in about a week. When my mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer in 2002 I put out an APB to IRL and on-line friends for favorite scraps and fabric and made my mom a quilt. From conception to completion was about 14 days. Mom got to look at that quilt every day of the rest of her life knowing all the people that were sending her strength and love. She requested a 2nd, smaller, quilt to take with her to her different treatments. I had enough extras from the first to make another similar one but smaller, more of a twin/lap size.


3. What is your dream job? --- It used to be something where I can be on a laptop on the beach somewhere warm and check in every once in awhile to do some problem solving. Now, I find that I'm doing it. This educational facilitator gig for my kids is amazingly satisfying and challenging at the same time.


4. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? --- In a similar space. Still facilitating the kids education but to a lesser degree. Still learning and growing every day. Still enjoying life while creating and researching.


5. What does it take to make you happy? --- Sunshine, fresh air, and warmth.

Magic Words

I'm reading a wonderful book that has many tools and I'm impressed enough to want to record it here. Little helpful phrases that sometime I need to be reminded of.

First and foremost # 5. KMS. Keep Mouth Shut
#37 Hey, It's Only the Second Inning.

I'm only on 59 out of the 101 but I'll get there.
Quick easy for those "I've just got a minute" moments to read.

Click on the pict to go to Amazon to check it out.
Or got to your local public library. :) That's what I did.

Magic Words 101 Ways to Talk Your Way Through Life's Challenges by Howard Kaminsky and Alexandra Penney

Spark Thoughts

I've really got to go back to SparkPeople
I lost 50 pounds in the last 15 months. But a trip down photo memory lane last night has me motivated to get back on the bandwagon after a two month hiatus.

This was at my mom's "funeral"

January 2004

I gained 65 pounds in the course of 18 months between her diagnosis and her death. And it wasn't until June of 2007 that I was ready to do anything about it.

With Spark People I lost about 50 pounds in 12 months. June 2007 to June 2008

And I've been taking a break since then.

It is time to go back.

I miss the hard body.

The weight hasn't changed much but the body is flappier.

I've been chewing on this word for about 6 weeks.

It is a word I had heard in the past. A word I understood. But a word that was given more weight in my mind after a group discussion at a confrence.

The word is "unschooly" or would it be "unschoolly" or "unschool-y" or even "unschoolie"?

It is being used as a way to describe a type of non-institutional learning.
Not just homeschooling because much of it does not occur at home.

The idea is that the form of education being described is like unschooling but not exactly unschooling so it is "unschoolly" "unschool-y" "unschooly" "unschoolingy" "unschoolingie" oh crud some of those are ugly words..

I'd really like to figure out how it is actually spelled.

Why? Why do I care? Why does it matter?

Well, it matters to me because people get all caught up in the check list that is, and is not unschooling, unschooled, unschool. The intent, the execution, what it looks like to the kid, parent or outsiders. No, it really doesn't "matter" matter but it matters in context of attempting to communicate a philosophy of education.

I'm using it as "having properties of" unschooling. So would that mean the word would be "unschoolingly". Oh goodness, I'm in over my head.

So, if it is my call, I decide, until convinced otherwise, that the word is "Unschooly"

If Merriam-Webster defines "girly" as "girlish" and "girlish" as "of, relating to, or having the characteristics of a girl or girlhood" then I can extrapolate "unschooly" or "unschoolie" to "of, relating to, or having characteristics of unschool"... but should it be "unschoolingy" instead of "unschooly".

Ugh, I'll just decide that I don't have enough knowledge to decide. Nor the inclination to gain the knowledge needed in order to make a decision.

Definition from John Holt Grown Without Schooling
http://www.holtgws.com/whatisunschoolin.html
A short snip from the full definition given on the site.

"When pressed, I define unschooling as allowing children as much
freedom to learn in the world, as their parents can comfortably bear. The
advantage of this method is that it doesn't require you, the parent, to become
someone else, i.e. a professional teacher pouring knowledge into child-vessels
on a planned basis. Instead you live and learn together, pursuing questions and
interests as they arise and using conventional schooling on an "on demand"
basis, if at all. "

Unschooling.com definitions of unschooling

http://www.unschooling.com/library/faq/definitions.shtml
List of definitions from Sandra Dodd's site.
http://sandradodd.com/unschool/definition

Interesting....

I can tell when I'm actively into sewing.

My sewing area is clean... Yes, I took a break while hemming the pillow cases to take a picture.

The cupboards hold some of my stash.

The boxes on the shelf house most of my thread. The other shelf currently has a bolt of interfacing and a bolt of soil separator for tracing. It recently held what was left of my Warm & Natural but I used the last of that on a recent quilt sandwich.

The stack on the sewing machine cover is stuff to be turned into bags.

My serger and coverstitch machine are hiding behind the sewing machine. All 3 use the same foot pedal so I just plug it into what ever machine I'm using at that moment.

Why is it...

... that I garden for my own pleasure.

Everything dies.

I plant special items per dh's request.

They grow, and some thrive. See dh's jalapenos on right.

This may be why I had given up on gardening. It had been so long since I'd been successful that I decided to give it another shot this year.

One dozen zucchinis on 12 plants does not equal a successful harvest in my mind.

Better luck next year.

NVC Stuff

Nonviolent Communication has been a buzz word in my circles for years.

http://www.cnvc.org/en/what-nvc/nonviolent-communication

I think we did our first book club on it back when dd was an infant.

Here is a wiki how on how to: http://www.wikihow.com/Practice-Nonviolent-Communication

My motivation for bring it up is that a df had a set of NVC GORK cards. http://www.nvcproducts.com/product.sc?categoryId=2&productId=5

Cards, playing card like, that listed feelings. I can see what an asset it would be to have a set of cards with feelings on them to help identify what exactly we are feeling in a trying situation. For children, for adults, for families or in groups. For personal use for journaling, for couples use for problem solving.

Friday Five 9/12

I'm new to this so please forgive me if I don't do the correct attributions.

Todays Questions
1. If you were to die today, what would your last words be? I love you.

2. What would you want your epitaph to say? I don't want one. I want my ashes scattered in the ocean.

3. What song would you want played at your funeral? There is a party at the end of the world.

4. In lieu of flowers, what should loved ones do in your honor? Drink margarita at my fav beach while watching the sunset.

5. What unfinished business would you wrap up? I'd do a final round of phone calls to say I love you. We say it often to our loved ones but if I knew today was the day I'd say it again even though it has been said to all that matter in the last 48 hours.

Banned Book Week 9/27-10/4

Every year I add Banned Book Week to my calendar.
Every year I let it slip by without a second thought.

This year I will read at least one Banned Book.
It may be a re-read, it may be a new read of a familiar author.
With the little research that I'm doing as I write this I see many of the books that I have read over the years on the lists. Now it I could just find a definitive list with the reasons why then I might be able to shed some light and do some learning. For now I'll just keep searching and thinking.